I was wondering if it was Legal for a person hosting your website/forums to read your private messages sent through the forums, reading these messages using there hosting Database. With absolutely no access granted on the website or forums. the host is just a host... can anyone help me with this question, and if you cant help me point me in the right direction

Yes they can. But they can not blackmail you with what they have read, and they can not post it anywhere, or show it to anybody but legal athoraties.

i hear it's illegal for an isp to read your email, period.

of course if some nosy administrator wanted to read your email i'm sure they could, and you wouldn't notice. of course if they did read your email, they couldn't do anything at all, they couldnt even tell people about what they read, since it's illegal.

i guess the good old thinkgeek sticker that says "i read your email" is worthless nowadays.