The Top 15 Things Overheard at Post-Oscar Parties

15. "Hey there's Oprah! And there's Uma! I wonder if they know each other."
14. "The girls? They're in the bathroom doing Botox."
13. "Once again: We enter through the left kitchen door and exit through the right kitchen door. Got that, Mr. Guttenberg?"
12. "How on earth did you get Michael Jackson to baby-sit for you tonight?"
11. "Come quick! Weinstein challenged Peter Jackson to a winner-gets-the-Oscar shrimp-eating contest!"
10. "Wasn't he the Baldwin brother who promised to leave the country?"
9. "No, I missed the call for that one. But my agent thinks he can get me into the porno version, 'The Passion of the Crotch.'"
8. "Go ahead, punk... make my drink."
7. "It's your own fault, Charlize. What did you expect when Winona Ryder offered to hold your Oscar while you went to the ladies' room?"
6. "Look! It's Roberto Benigni! I told you there would be valet parking!"
5. "I've seen your movie hundreds of times and you were excellent. But you're still not getting in, Ms. Hilton."
4. "You know, Miss Castle-Hughes, you can be a real bitch when you're hammered."
3. "Here he comes. Now remember, every time he calls that damn thing 'my preciousss,' we all drink a shot."
2. "Somebody pass the pliers! Renee's eyes are stuck shut again!"

and Number 1 Thing Overheard at a Post-Oscar Party...

1. "Don't go into the men's room for a few minutes -- I just took a huge Gigli."

Hehe, enjoy!

QUOTE:"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."